Breakdown

Breakdown

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Breakdown

Do not prevent
my descent into madness
Demanding to know
“what’s the matter?”
I am being denied matter
split, severed, impaled on
routine definitions
being denied matter denied spirit denied love
life denied earth denied universe denied flight
voice without sound
silence without stillness
nature denied nurture denied space denied song
do not prevent
this death defying descent
do not distract me now
with the cold embers of kind concern
I am diving deep to dredge up my
tattered remains of longed for spirit
there’s little hope of pulling myself together
clichés will not enlighten me
as I wade through pain
Disturbing life encrusted scars and
letting wounds weep openly
do not distract me now
with tired tales of feeling better soon.
I no longer trade in futures
feeling the disease of presence
is all I desire
I crave meeting myself
Like a longed for lover
I crave cradling my pain
pouring soothing sorrow on
long neglected wounds
I cannot bear even to hear the lies
luring me to selfless loveliness
I cannot any longer trust words
to name the fear, the fury, the joy convulsing
in my too long defined soul
I yearn only for myself
to gently embrace my recovered spirit
caring little for the traces of torture
but learning to look on love
with new vision.
There is such beauty in new-born scarred spirits
Logo: Four Swans from One in Flight



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