It’s never in the score

It’s never in the score

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It’s never in the score

They said she was mad
when
in the middle of a concerto
in London’s Royal Festival Hall
a man in a blue suit
- a blue suited man-
put his hand...
on her knee...
and squeezed
“get your slimy paw off my knee,” she bellowed
which hadn’t been written
in the concerto for cello.
The composer
who had composed the themes
hadn’t indicated screams
In the slow movement.
(It was not a modern piece
in which screams are scripted
reflecting contemporary conflicts.)
Her bellow
completely stopped the cello
and several strings missed a beat
and the repeat
because the conductor caught his baton
in the eye of the leader
who sat on his bow
which broke in two
it was definitely her fault
that the slow movement
came to a halt.
“She has murdered the music” they said
“She’s mad
no respect
what can you expect,”
and the man in the blue suit
- the blue suited man -
said she was unfit to admit
“I dropped my programme
it slid to the floor”, he said
“I wouldn’t cause a scene
over such a small thing.
And everyone applauded (warmly)
amazed at how well he’d restored
order – and it turned out
he was a doctor
so he led her away
and gave her a little something
to help her realise
she mustn’t tell lies
and – no matter what happened
(even if he had put his hand on her knee
and squeezed as if he would)
she must never bellow during
a concerto for cello
in London's Royal Festival Hall
it’s never in the score.

1984



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